Looking Back...

 I can’t see my Future but to imagine. Similarly, I can't change my Past but I can visit through. Looking back from now and connecting through divine navigation, I can say with confidence that there exists ‘a divine guidance’. 

I quit my education after high school as I got second grade certificate. I burnt my grade sheet and started working in flour machine. Later on, I started tutoring dropout students and making them skilled in my own coaching classes. After two years of mentoring and guidance to them, I moved to Shibli College, a famous college in eastern Uttar Pradesh for my intermediate education. There I found a good roommate named Ashfaq Ahmad who convinced me to apply for Aligarh Muslim University. I wanted to study Philosophy but I got admission in Communicative English, something which I did not know anything about the subject. All Prase to Allah, I got proficient enough to supervise many adult learners when I was in my final year. For further study, I opted for English Language Teaching as my major in graduation (Post-graduation in India). In first two semesters, I was not so friendly with girls because of the culture I was brought up in. In the 3rd semester it was easy for me to talk to any of our classmates irrespective of genders. 

In my 3rd semester I saw a dream that one of my classmates named Fatima Zehra Nizami used to teach in a school in the evening. I got interested. When I woke up rubbing my eyes and thinking all this was just a dream. There is no school running in the evening and Fatima belonged to a rich family. Why would she teach for financial assistance? I was not aware of the city Aligarh. But Still, I had faith in divine guidance and went to Fatima and ask her which school she had been teaching in the evening. As expected, she said none. I asked her which school was running in the evening and she said Al-Barakaat Public School. She was a day-scholar so she knew about the local schools.  

Surprisingly, the school needed me as equally as I needed it. I called the headmaster in the evening for joining. He asked me for two free demo classes. All Praise to Allah, I succeeded in selling my service to him. Thus, I completed my Master Degree along with teaching experience at school. Now the question ‘What Next?’ was perplexing. Whether I should join a publication house or teaching or what. I was waiting for divine guidance. There was another girl named Sadaf Warsi. She sent me a notification in which interview for an assistant professor was held at Teerthankar Mahaveer University. I asked her why she had sent it to me as that was an interview scheduled for someone else. I thought application deadline must have ended. She said, "what if you call the university HR". Practically, it was stupidity to call the HR after application deadline is over. Again, faith in Allah. I called HR and convinced him to consider my CV. The next day morning, I was sleeping and I got a call from TMU. I told them that I was in compromised state and would talk to them after a few minutes but they insisted for interview then and there. Thus, my first interview was in Lehaalf (a sheet to cover while sleeping). 

They asked me what was my age then. I was 23 but I had experience of teaching dropouts beyond my age when I was in High School. They re-confirmed me if I was sure to take demo class for students of equal or above my age. I confidently said, “It’s not the age that matters, it’s the level of understanding that matters to me.” They scheduled the next level in their assessment protocol. I followed everything and finally to HR interview for salary negotiation.  

To suppress my potential and skills, the HR told me that I had zero experience, neither a PhD nor a NET (National Eligibility Test in India for teaching in Indian universities). In response to his shitty statement, I asked them if they followed UGC norms and why they expect me to follow it. I had had 10 years of experience till then since my high school. I asked them if they wanted to hire me or they wanted to hire a certificate. If certificate, I could have bought a certificate of 12 years from a private university like theirs. If they wanted to hire a person, they should properly assess my skills and knowledge. This unfathomable confidence in me clicked them and I was in.  

I was very effective faculty, ranked in top 10 on students' feedback taken by university. I managed to teach in Dental, Physiotherapy, Engineering, Mass Communication and as an adjunct in Education and Management for Soft Skills and Communication. I was happy there then I got nature’s navigation.  

I got a call from Prof Amirullah Khan (late) to apply for PhD. I told him that I could not qualify the entrance test and there were only two vacancies. I thought these were reserved for toppers and I was an average student. As Nature’s navigation, I followed what he said and I qualified the assessment, although I always hate competition. I still believe in diversity in the nature of goals, not conformity to the social norms.  

I continued my PhD, and I followed my natural calling, not standardization of academic norms. I still believe in quality of service to human being, not in a planned standardized way of certification and progress. When God has diversified everything and everyone, then why do people still believe in conformity and standardization? I am stuck in thinking.

In the 3rd year of my PhD, I was invited as an External Expert for Creative and Liberal Arts in Galgotias University, Noida. I did not try or put any effort for this opportunity but this was also just a pattern of Nature’s Navigation that one of my previous colleagues over there named Saurabh Majhi had recommended my name in their BOS (Board of Studies) meeting. I Love this way of Nature’s Navigation. I am still following my Natural Calling and believe in devine guidance.